Cartilage Free Captain

Ane’s football is pretty “okay!” | Photo by ANP via Slot is compared to Pep Guardiola and turned down Leeds. But would he come to Spurs? To: daniel.levy@tottenhamhotspur.comFrom: cartilagefree@gmail.comSubject: Let us help you! (Manager search) Dear Dan, It’s been a week, hasn’t it? I understand. This is a tough time for you, what with no permanent manager in place (yet) and your Director of Football v-blogging the fans from various undisclosed locations in Italy. But that’s why we’re here. We are continuing to provide our unique Managerial Evaluation...

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via Your EFL Championship roundup and lookahead good morning good morning The international break is finally over, and how lucky are we for it to coincide with the end of the month. You know what that means - It’s time for your EFL Championship roundup. But this month’s edition is just as much a lookahead as it is a roundup, considering that by April 30 much of the promotion, playoff and relegation race could be settled. There are only 10-11 games remaining for these clubs, and the margin of error couldn’t be...

Photo by Francesco Scaccianoce/ Stellini says all the right things as chaos swirls around Spurs. Let’s not sugarcoat it — it’s been a chaotic two weeks for Tottenham Hotspur, starting with Antonio Conte’s explosive press conference after the Southampton draw that eventually resulted in him leaving the club by mutual consent. It took the club a while to get all of its ducks in a row, but a week later Conte was out, and surprisingly his former assistant, Cristian Stellini, was tapped as his temporary replacement until the club could find another permanent head...

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via O Captain My Captain! How about a bit of good news after what has been an eventful couple of weeks at Tottenham Hotspur? Hugo Lloris, club captain and starting keeper, has returned to full training at Spurs after a number of weeks out through injury. Rejoice! Hugo is back with the team pic.twitter.com/nTqwaQgJGj— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) March 30, 2023 Here’s the part where wiseguys in the comments are gonna go Is this really a good thing hurr hurr hurr and to which I say: Yes. It is. Fraser...

Photo by James Williamson - AMA/ Let’s talk music! hello! As you all know, I like to post a track of the day at the end of every hoddle. I can’t exactly why I decided to start this, but I’m glad I did. It’s a lot of fun! I try to keep the tracks as varied as possible and jump from genre to genre, even going for some artists/songs/styles that I may not necessarily be that into. Other times I like to include a song that I’ve been listening to a lot. But I’d like to throw it to you today, hoddlers! I would love to know what you are listening to these days. I...

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via It’s not much, but it’s a statement! Following this morning’s bombshell breaking news that Tottenham Hotspur Managing Director of Football Fabio Paratici had his football ban expanded to all of global football by FIFA, reports had emerged that FIFA’s decision had blindsided Spurs’ leadership, and was a completely unexpected development. This afternoon, they issued a statement saying just that. Club announcement – Fabio Paratici— Tottenham Hotspur (@SpursOfficial) March 29, 2023 Following media...

Photo by JUNG YEON-JE/AFP via Time to go down the rabbit hole... When I woke up this morning, I can tell you that I wasn’t expecting to feel compelled to write an article doing a deep dive into emerging beef between Son Heung-Min, known as one of the nicest men in football, and his Korea teammate, Napoli central defender Kim “Monster” Min-jae. But here we are. As if there wasn’t enough drama swirling around Tottenham Hotspur already, the Korean media is now picking up on emerging drama on social media between Son and Kim over Monster’s frustration with...

Photo by Nicolò Campo/LightRocket via Impeccably run club. No notes. Yesterday, Tottenham Hotspur posted a video of Managing Director of Football Fabio Paratici explaining the club’s short term vision in the wake of head coach Antonio Conte’s departure. The video was apparently filmed in an Italian hotel as Paratici was preparing for a hearing, now delayed until May, of his punishment for playing a role in Juventus’ “plusvalenza” financial scandal. The video was roundly mocked by Spurs fans and others, but Paratici now has much bigger problems — this...

Photo by ADRIAN DENNIS/AFP via Two recent articles paint a detailed picture of Conte’s tenure at Spurs. It’s not a pleasant one. We are a few days out from Tottenham Hotspur and Antonio Conte “mutually parting ways,” but the goodbye was an especially long one. It was over a week since Conte’s infamous tirade after the draw against Southampton when he threw everyone, including Chirpy, under the bus. It’s been basically known that Conte was out the exit door since last Monday. Plenty of time for journalists to contact their club sources and get some juicy...

Photo by Tottenham Hotspur FC/Tottenham Hotspur FC via The Orchid Tales, Part V good morning everyone — It’s been a long time since our previous installment of The Orchid Tales. The last time we checked in on Planty he had seven beautiful bloomed blossoms. Every Monday I take the plastic planter of the ceramic vase and I examine Planty’s roots before I water it. The last few weeks or so I noticed Planty was beginning to jump out of its Plantar, its roots climbing out of the soil. It’s time to repot Planty. I read some instructional how-tos and watched a couple...

Photo by Ahmad Mora/ We need more context but still — wingbacks, who needs ‘em? Hahahahahaha, this week man. Wow. Look what just flashed across my timeline — it’s a video from this evening’s EURO 2024 qualifying match between Turkey and Croatia. That person you see lying down on the ground in pain? Yup, that’s Ivan Perisic. Perisic seems to be holding his calf, and Turkey’s Arda Guler goes over and tries to help stretch him out, assuming it’s a cramp. But Perisic’s reaction makes it look a little worse than just a cramp, right? Perisic was subbed out...

Photo by Mike Egerton/PA Images via Get a ring light, Fabio! Antonio Conte has departed, but Tottenham Hotspur Managing Director of Football Fabio Paratici (for now) remains. And despite his own legal difficulties and questions over his job suitability and actual viability, someone at Tottenham Hotspur thought it was a good idea to put him in front of a web cam to record a video to Spurs supporters over all the changes currently taking place at the club. Normally I’d embed the video here for everyone to watch and then comment on, but Spurs in their infinite wisdom...

Photo by Richard Sellers/ One Brazilian down, one back. Sooooooo there’s bad news, and there’s good news this morning regarding Tottenham Hotspur’s pair of injured Brazilians. First the bad news — while we reported yesterday that Emerson Royal was expected to miss time after injuring his knee while on international duty from Brazil, now we know the extent of the injury. The club tweeted today that Emerson has a meniscus tear in his knee, which is bad and requires surgery. Still, it’s better than an ACL/MCL injury, so there’s that. We can confirm that...

Photo by John Walton/PA Images via Top Chef recap: Episode 3 good morning! We are now three episodes into the latest Top Chef season - and this episode came with a double elimination. I think we’re having a good understanding of who the main competitors will be this season. But first, some housekeeping: Was there a Tottenham Hotspur Stadium sighting? YES! Yes there was! Of course we had to wait until the very end, because it showed up in the preview for this coming week’s episode! It appears the remaining cheftestants will be paired in teams to cook outside the...

Photo by Jean Catuffe/ But we’re a long way away from seeing him holding a Spurs shirt. We are one day away from Tottenham Hotspur and Antonio Conte agreeing to mutually part ways, and to nobody’s surprise attention has immediately shifted to who will come in as Conte’s permanent successor. Conte’s former assistant Cristian Stellini has been appointed as Interim Head Coach with Ryan Mason as his top assistant through the end of the season. However, there’s one name that is circulating as Tottenham’s top candidate to take over the job this summer, and it...